Civil partnership

June 5, 2007

Steven and I are planning our civil partnership. It’s a relatively new phrase in the language, so much so, in fact, that a lot of the concepts around it have yet to solidify into actual words, like dust-clouds forming planets round a new sun.

How, for instance, will I refer to my beloved afterwards? My husband? My partner? I doubt I’ll be using the language of the legislation and introducing him as my ‘civil partner’. Bit of a mouthful.

And what about the verb for taking part in the ceremony? So far, I’ve been mainly steering clear of ‘marry’ and opting instead for substitutes such as ‘tie the knot’ or ‘get hitched’. (The official term is the extremely catchy ‘register a civil partnership’.)

But while I (like the legislators) seem to be avoiding the language of marriage, I (like the legislators) am deadly serious about the meaning. Under British law, a civil union has the same legal status as marriage – and I want a ceremony that reflects that.

I want it to be just like any other wedding. I want speeches and photos, I want cold champagne and lukewarm chicken, I want bored uncles and drunken dancing, so that everyone understands that when we say “I do”, the words mean just as much as when anyone else says them.

9 Responses to “Civil partnership”

  1. deveil Says:

    very interesting for sure! I’m starting to wonder on this stuff myself lately, we’ve only been together three years, but we both want this someday.

  2. Tyroga Says:

    My partner and I have been together for 10 years and it’s great to see you Brits getting this type of recognition of relationships. Let’s hope we catch up some time soon.

    Make a good honest man of that Aussie boy, because you can 😛

  3. WOW! That’s soooo two are so cute!

  4. […] also written about our upcoming civil partnership on his blog. Check it out here. No Comments so far Leave a comment RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI […]

  5. Evol Kween Says:

    Congrats to you both! And remember,a wedding is incomplete without an overdressed, over sized wedding cake.

  6. Jill Says:

    I was browsing the internet looking for help – being in the middle of a number of dilemmas and distresses – I was wondering what other gay people were doing about the language that is spectacularly absent or very clumsy around the civil partnership thingy. I daresay in time a language will develop but in the meantime …. well I loved your description “a lot of the concepts around it have yet to solidify into actual words, like dust-clouds forming planets round a new sun.”

    My daughter and partner had a civil partnership in April – although my daughter has always been Ms Indendent and I dont care what others think and I am not into families, babies and all things traditional – she is now using the conventional words of marriage, honeymoon, her wife etc etc – it all sounds ‘wrong’ to me being as I am 62 and therefore having very strong associations to these concepts. But what to do – my whole world seems to have fallen apart for a number of reasons too many to go into here but … what is going to happen about this language thingy!!

    tell me why do you want your ceremony to be like any other wedding? why not something that you and your partner have put together yourself that is truly meaningful to you two and that is not bound by tradition and convention? In my experience tradition and convention have got in the way of sincerity – such a marriage does not make the “I do” anymore meaningful than secret words spoken on a windy hill in the wilds of Scotland.

    Just some thoughts – I wish you well

  7. cuppatea Says:

    Congrats Guys !!


  8. Glad to see you continued blogging in this re-incarnation.

    This post is so open and honest I nearly cried. One day I hope to love someone this much…

  9. […] our feet wouldn’t have to suffer the indignity of touching carpet) and despite what I said in an earlier post about avoiding the language of traditional marriage, the word “husband” tripped off our lips as […]

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